I NEED THEM (LOVE, CARENESS, AFFECTION, ATTENTION)

Yes, Right i am an optimistic person,

Yes, right i am a confident person,
Yes, of course i have high ambition to achieve something that i want
These are one of my characteristics, when i was the beginning of semester in university these characteristics belong to me and i obey to the role, role of human, and of course role of God, Praying is always my habit and my soul, i am afraid of God if i don't do my habit (Praying), i feel i have sinful more if i don't do that. but now i cry looking my habit, i cry looking my activity, i cry looking myself, now beside that i feel far from My God, i also feel i have less attention, i have less affection, i have less love from the people, my family, my friends, my close friend.
frankly i really want to be like the others, they have happiness, they can be happy with someone that they love, but i really say thank to God with my condition.
i feel i am one of person who has thousand of sinful. thousand of pain,
i really want to change these
i really want to be back to myself Asep Saepul Bahri before.
Ya Allah strongly i beg your pardon.
strongly i want to change all of these.
if i get this condition i really need love, care, affection, attention from the people, especially from my family.
i miss my mom,
i miss my father even i don't know who you are.
i miss my grand ma,
i miss my old and my young sisters.
especially to my mom; i do want to meet you mom,
sorry i always do mistake,
i often make you cry,
i often make you worried,
Dear God
i do apologize,
give me calming condition.